Welcome Predators: Monroe's Justice System Rolls Out Red Carpet | Monroe County Minutes

The Inclusion Index Arrives

Monroe just earned a shiny spot on our Inclusion Index—an honor reserved for places where serious charges somehow land on soft cushions. It joins a prestigious list of locations such as Mar-a-Lago and wherever Casey Anthony is sleeping these days.

After a year of rumor-mill cardio and "please don't screenshot that," state records now show former Monroe High cheer coach Shaelynn A. Pridemore is on probation through Aug 14, 2030 for two counts of accosting a child for immoral purposes. No prison term on the board—just a long list of supervision rules.

Why Monroe Made the List

The statute for "accosting a child for immoral purposes" carries up to four years per count. Yet here we are: two counts, probation. That's the kind of math that turns a town into a prime destination for debauchery—the brochure writes itself.

Monroe Starter Pack (Inclusion Index Edition)

• Plea-Bargain Bounce House
Consequences inflate, then slowly hiss.

• Registry Roulette
Land on a statute you never wanted to Google.

• The 1,000-Foot Fun Run
Stay far enough away to be considered "compliant" & keep it moving.

The Backstory

Locals remember the prequel: summer 2024 reports flagged the resignation and fresh "digital evidence" that revived earlier fizzled probes. The plotline didn't drop from the sky; it walked in with camera crews.

The Message Being Sent

What do would-be predators hear?

• Two felonies
• No prison
• Conditions you can memorize between check-ins
• A news cycle that already did the heavy lifting

Translation: "Welcome."

"Hell, I got more time for stealing condoms out of the Circle K."
— Bill, Bedford, MI, nursing a black coffee and an even blacker sense of humor

Drop a comment. Share with the friend who says "it's complicated." Then read the receipts and decide if this is justice served or justice sous-vided.